Daymaker - a person who performs acts of kindness with the intention of making the world a better place.
~ David Wagner
, author of Life as a Daymaker; how to change the world by making someone's day ~

DayMaker - any thought, word, or deed that spreads happiness, compassion, or fruitful ideas.
~ Annis Cassells ~

Sunday, January 5, 2014

Stepping it up in 2014: Choosing our Words

“Warmth and goodwill extended to one person not only make that person happy, but spread the joy to others around, and the chain goes on.”  ~Author Unknown

If we can stop and think about what we say, we hold the potential to change the world, or at least OUR own world.  Replacing negative words with positive, loving words can make a huge difference in our relationships.  It can change the course of our lives as well as those of anyone with whom we come in contact.

Our words are powerful. They create a reaction in the people who hear them, whether the words are directed to them or merely witnessed by them. Genuine encouragement, appreciation, love, acceptance, and affirmation can mend and strengthen. Their opposites debilitate and crush. We can see another person blossom -- or crumple -- depending on the words she or he routinely hears.

“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will make me go in a corner and cry by myself for hours,” said Eric Idle, English comedian, author, and actor. Words create emotional responses that intensify an individual’s reaction. What may seem like a harmless comment to one person may have such emotion attached for the listener that it chips away at her self-confidence and self-esteem.

Then there are folks like one of the women in my writing club who consistently notices others’ talents and admirable qualities. Liberal with her “thank you’s” and genuine with her praise, she chooses words that validate, and when she speaks them about us and to us, we glow. Her words serve to encourage everyone within listening range.

Let’s make 2014 a year of being conscious about our word choices. Let’s use the power of positive words to build others up and to enhance our relationships and our world. 

Sticks and stones may break some bones, but appreciative, affirming words uplift and heal.
~ xoA ~


  1. I'll confess...I believe there is a time and a place for honest criticism, even blunt, both in personal and writing relationships...I have learned some of my best lessons via blunt commentary in both my personal and writing lives. That said, I find that often people phrase things poorly, crossing the very thin line from blunt to cruel...which often results in hurt feelings without improvement. I think it is a very good thing to take care when speaking. And that a generous dose of kindness can help to soothe any sting from the sometimes necessary blunt truth. That said, I find that a lot of my favorite people run to extremes on the spectrum....either unfailingly kind/uplifting or brutally brutally honest. Go figure. :-) As for me, I could always stand to be a little more generous of spirit. I'll add that to my list this year.

    1. Anna, thanks for your experience and feelings here. I agree that constructive criticism is often needed in order for a person to grow. But, I think the "truth" can be put in as loving a way as possible. Yes, it's still going to hurt, but it probably won't knock the receiver over with a bulldozer.

      And, sometimes, we need to feel a bit of pain in order to more fully experience and cherish the joys life brings.

      So you are fortunate to have people in your life on both ends of the kindness-bluntness spectrum. You get the information you need from one group and the help to cope with it from the other.

      Every one of us could probably add generosity of spirit to our list of "ideal" person.

      Hugs and thanks,

  2. Annis,
    As writers we know written words are powerful, but sometimes we forget how much power comes with spoken words.
    I've always been extra sensitive and negative words have crushed me on many occasions. Because of the way I react, I try to choose my words not to hurt, but to uplift others. It's not always easy, but practice and having a mindset to encourage others helps.
    Whenever we talk, I always come away from the conversation feeling more positive and encouraged. Your words are kind, but even the tone of your voice is calming.
    So not only our words, but the tone is important too - something else to think about when we speak to others.
    Great post!

    1. Joan, thank you for writing and sharing your insight about the importance of tone of voice. Absolutely important. And, I appreciate your kind comments; it's validating when someone notices a quality that I am working on.

      Good for you as you are a great example of someone who chooses her words to uplift. Thank you for that. xoA