Daymaker - a person who performs acts of kindness with the intention of making the world a better place.
~ David Wagner
, author of Life as a Daymaker; how to change the world by making someone's day ~

DayMaker - any thought, word, or deed that spreads happiness, compassion, or fruitful ideas.
~ Annis Cassells ~

Monday, March 31, 2014

Stepping it Up in 2014: What it all Boils Down To

In earlier posts this year, I’ve encouraged us all to try a different way of communicating. I’ve mentioned Choice Theory and promised I would tell more about it later. While I’m no expert -- there are those who have studied long and practiced Choice Theory with clients for many years -- I can offer a simplistic explanation.

It all boils down to the fact that the only person whose behavior we can control is our own. All the rest -- the advising, “should-ing”, ordering, pleading, conversing -- is providing information. We can tell people what they ought to do, what we think is best for them, what we want and what we want them to do about it. But we can’t control what they choose to do.

Information or stimuli don’t make us behave in a certain way. Information is not in control of us. We choose our behavior based on the information we receive, our perception of it, and our belief that someone or something else can control our behavior.

The doorbell rings (stimulus). We have choices: 1) open the door  2) don’t answer the door. Many think responding to a ringing doorbell is a must-do. After all, it is RINGING! It’s summoning us; someone is here to see us. But, that doorbell is merely providing information: someone is at the door. We choose whether we want to open it, see who is there, and deal with them. On rare occasions, we decide we don’t want to be bothered by whomever it is, so we ignore the doorbell. Other times, we have prior information or may want to satisfy our curiosity, which influence our choice to open the door.

People will choose to behave in the way that best gets their needs met. In other words, they, we, all of us, are internally motivated. Our behavior choice is our attempt to take control of what is happening, with regard to what we want to be happening.

So, yes, our perceptions and behaviors are much more complex than this little explanation shows. But the idea of choosing our behavior to satisfy our needs and wants and bring us closer to the folks in our lives is fascinating. And, the practice is satisfying.  I invite you to keep an open mind, do your own further investigation of William Glasser's Choice Theory, and try out some of the principles to see the positive difference they make in your life.
~ xoA

Monday, March 24, 2014

Advice from a Volcano

I’ve been away, on vacation on the island of Hawai’i.
 While there, Judy and I hiked in Volcanoes National Park. One day, our journey took us through the lava tube, over a rugged path on the crater rim, and down onto and across the floor of the caldera, where we warmed our hands at the steam vents. 

Our second day, we drove to the end of the crater road and stood atop the lava where the newest lava flow crossed on its way to the ocean a few years ago. 

 Along that drive, the site of ancient petroglyphs beckoned to us, so we stopped for a look at these revered artifacts.

 Back in the gift shop after viewing a thrilling volcano video, the words of Ilan Shamir caught my attention. “Advice from a Volcano” felt like a DayMaker-kinda’ message. So here you are. With love and aloha. xoA
Advice from a Volcano

Stay Active
Keep your Inner Fire Burning
It’s OK to Let off Steam
Go with the Flow
Be Uplifting
It’s All a Matter of Time
Have a Blast!

Pele (Original hanging in the Jagger Museum)