Where were you on January 6th?

A pleasant January morning with a soak in our hot tub followed by a leisurely breakfast rapidly turned ugly. Afternoon in Washington DC, the undeterred rampage by thousands of insurrectionists on the U.S. Capitol building and democracy unfolded right before our eyes. It was a window into way too much of America.

An unruly mob—rioters who represented nearly half of American voters—paraded through the Rotunda waving Trump flags, confederate flags, white supremacy flags. Fired up by the President at a pre-march rally, they converged on the Capitol with a purpose: to disrupt, take over, create chaos, and instill fear. 

And they did. Our stomachs roiled as we witnessed the scene. We feared for the Senators, Representatives, and their staff, for all the building’s government workers. And, we feared for the government itself as we watched this mob’s brand of “patriotism”, their absolute assault on democracy.

With the passage of a few days, we’ve learned of the five deaths that occurred on the Capitol grounds and the arrest of a number of rioters. We’ve heard the false-sounding remorse of a few folks who “made a bad decision” by being there.

But this should be far from finished. Relentless investigation, diligent apprehension, and vigorous prosecution must take place. And the President must go.

We Americans horrified, saddened and angered by the actions of some of our fellow countrymen and women on January 6^th must do something, too. We have to stand our ground that these behaviors and attitudes are intolerable. Reluctant to “cause a problem” or create discomfort, we silence ourselves, and that silence is taken for agreement. We need to muster the courage to speak up.

We are obliged to press our government representatives who have upheld and joined in perpetuating the lies that incited these rioters and have made a mockery of democracy. We have to hold them accountable until we can vote them out.

Though these are difficult and scary times, we must persevere. As Maya Angelou said, “Having courage doesn’t mean that we are unafraid. Having courage and showing courage mean we face our fears…” We must have the courage to speak out and to hold those perverse Representatives’ and Senators’ feet to the fire and not let the embers of what we saw, felt, and experienced die out.

~ xoA ~

Photo by Jametlene Reskp on Unsplash

 

Where was I in ’63?

Two things made me ask this question: This week’s televised commemorations of the 1963 March on Washington and watching Lee Daniels’ film, “The Butler”. Where the heck was I when Americans were standing up, putting themselves in harm’s way, marching for equality, making history? 

Well, I was twenty years old, a married student going to college at Eastern Michigan University in Ypsilanti, Michigan. Consumed by my own life, I was striving to get by and maintain a household while working toward a Bachelor of Science in physical education and a minor in English.

We did have a television. Every night in the summer of ’63, news footage of the violent confrontations in the South bombarded us a dinnertime. But that was way down there. I was in Michigan, too naïve and removed and involved in living my life to sink my heart and concentration into what played out before me. Today, I am embarrassed by that realization.

But, we all grow and mature to see beyond our own small worlds. When we’ve had life experiences and gain insight, we change. I recognize that the woman I am today would behave differently than that girl of twenty, would pay attention and find the courage to step up and speak out. (“If we knew then what we know now…”)

In 2013, there are myriad causes, beliefs, and values that provide opportunities to show courage. Some are personal, others are on national or global levels. Some of us will remain silent or unconcerned because we think an issue doesn’t affect us. Some of us are just plain afraid --afraid of having our feelings hurt or of hurting others’ feelings. Some of us will take action, no matter how small, that will make a difference.

Revisiting the America of 1963 has reminded me of the kind of person I want to be. It has dared me to be courageous. 

~ xoA ~

The Awake Party

Trudy

Last weekend, we celebrated our dear friend Trudy, who is courageously dealing with end-stage cancer. She wanted to have her party while she was still here to enjoy it. She wanted to see the people who mean a lot to her and, as she said, “hear the nice things they say about me.” 

Trudy’s garden and yard had to be immaculate, after all, she’s the president of the Bakersfield Green Thumb Garden Club. She worked hard to make it happen, hung in there on days when she didn’t feel up to par.  With Trudy’s eye and guidance, and partner Sylvia and sister Rebecca doing the heavy lifting and physically intensive jobs, the setting shone picture-perfect.

Sylvia, Rebecca, and Trudy

Trudy sent out the word, and we all came -- family members, lifelong pals, new friends, motorcycle buddies, and garden club friends. Some traveled from as far away as Arizona and Los Angeles, Aguanga, Littlerock, Sacramento, and Redding, California.  Folks from all over town where Trudy has become dear also showed up. The gals from the Speedway convenience store down the street and Joe from the Bulk Yard were on hand. 

An informal open house-style party, characterized by laughter and stories of Trudy and her antics brought us all together. Ever gracious, though tiring as the day progressed, Trudy took time to visit with each person. And, yes, it was emotional, but that’s to be expected. We care deeply.

Sylvia had spent many hours lovingly creating a slide show that showcased the important areas of Trudy’s life. To everyone’s delight, it ran constantly throughout both afternoons.

Sunday morning, friend Chelli, who had driven in from Arizona the afternoon before, rose with a mission in mind. Her early morning shopping trip resulted in a bountiful array of scrapbooking materials and a small photo printer.  As people arrived at the house later that day, she took pictures of them with Trudy. The guests then created a scrapbook page that displayed the photo and their message for Trudy. Participating in this way initiated a wonderful memory for each one of us while creating the epitome of a memory book for Trudy and Sylvia.

An Awake Party. Not a wake. That’s what Trudy wanted. It gave us a chance to pay our respects to her and to let her know how important she is to us, how much we love her. It’s a priceless gift each of us can hold in our hearts, a gift for which I am beyond grateful.

~ xoA

Look for the Gift

 

Dawn, night, and taxes are three things that we can all count on as we go about our daily lives. And, we’ve heard of Murphy’s Law, where anything that can go wrong will go wrong. We need to roll with the punches – take it in and let it go. Make lemonade out of lemons. The clichés are never-ending.

It’s also said, “It’s not what happens to you, it’s how you react to what happens to you.” Remaining calm and keeping a clear head when things don’t work out exactly as we’ve planned is key. Something better is probably in store for us. What feels like a missed opportunity or a dreadful situation usually brings a gift to our lives.

When the unexpected happens, we also need to look for the gift. What good thing is going to come out of these unplanned or unforeseen circumstances?  Sometimes it’s hard to believe there could be a gift while in the throes of a tough situation. But proving that “hindsight is 20-20,” taking time to reflect often reveals the gift.

How many of us, after being delayed from leaving home and later coming upon a traffic jam or accident have said, “If I’d left on time, I’d have been right in the middle of that mess!” The gift: we’ve been spared aggravation and possible injury.

Sometimes the gift is a heart gift. I can remember our friend Ruth saying that having cancer had brought her many gifts. A major one was the realization of how much people cared for her. The disease had rallied long-time friends and family around her and had brought new friends into her life. Having cancer led to fresh attitudes and learnings and a sense of freedom. These were not only gifts for Ruth, but also for those of us who were so fortunate to become close to her.

Knowing that there is a gift in every situation helps us get through it. Looking for the gift brings us opportunities for growth and happiness.

What gifts have you found, thanks to a tough situation you’ve faced?

~ xoA ~

Dig Deep and Keep Going

June 1^st, the beginning of summer and time for our annual trek to Oregon. I was riding my motorcycle, and Judy followed in our car, which was loaded with our summer-living necessities. We’d expected a bit of rain, and I was prepared. The entire day, I wore my rain pants, pulled down over my jeans and boot tops, and my fluorescent yellow rain jacket, velcroed tightly around my neck and sleeves. It did rain off and on, and occasionally, I’d stand on my pegs so the wind would clear the water off my face shield.

By early evening, traveling north through the mountains on I-5, around Mt. Shasta City, the skies darkened and the rains began again. It was noticeably colder, and I thought about changing my gloves. Rounding a curve, just south of Weed, we ran smack into wet, blanketing snow. It had already stuck on the ground and quickly covered my windshield.

Survival mode kicked in immediately. I lifted myself to a squat to see over the windshield. Adrenalin and thoughts exploded. Two motorcycling adages came to mind as I had to take my left hand off the handle grip and swipe snow off my visor: “Slow down and hold tight.” and “Chin up, stay up.” I did both and concentrated on keeping upright. Then, I tried to recall the three Weed exits -- Were the off-ramps curvy? How steep were they?  Where were the motels? 

 

Slowly and steadily, I steered the Goldwing to the North Weed off-ramp, a straight slab of snow-covered cement, where two easy right turns led us into the parking lot of the Motel 6. What a relief! But, I didn’t breathe easily until I was fully stopped, the side stand was down, and the bike was turned off. Then, I climbed off and began shaking. I had made it! I’d kept the “rubber side down” and was safe.

Soaked, but safe, in Weed, California

 When faced with any kind adversity, we all dig deep inside and come up with exactly what it takes to get ourselves through. Each of us has learned from experience and observation and can call on the skills, knowledge and reserves within us, whether the tough situation is dangerous or scary or emotionally risky. I’ve learned that slowing down, holding tight, and keeping my chin up works for almost any challenge. And, as Winston Churchill is supposed to have said, “When going through hell, [we] keep going.”

Have you had any recent storms to weather in your life? What inner resources did you draw upon?

                                                                                ~ xoA ~