Springtime in Palm Springs

 
 I think of our annual visit to Palm Springs as routine, but it will never be that again, not since my 2009 breast cancer diagnosis. Now it’s a trip that is a mix of apprehension, diversion, triumph and relief. 

Each March we zip down to Palm Springs, a 450-mile round trip, for our mammograms. Judy and I try to make it a mini-vacation. We look for new places to eat and things to do and often reminisce about past times there. 

St. Patrick’s Day, we poked our heads into the casino and meandered among the maze of dazzling, beeping machines, searching for nickel slots. Finally, we were able to discern that we stood among a mob of machines that took pennies. Even better; we could play longer! 

Judy reached into her pocket for change and divvied it up between us. We found a machine that called to us and examined it, looking for the place to insert our coins. There was none. Frequent player cards or bills or tickets, yes; but no place for actual coins.  Winning a fluke jackpot on our last penny would not be in our near future.

March is a perfect time of year to visit Palm Springs. We stepped out of the heavily-perfume-masked air of the casino into an 85° sunshiny day. The sounds of St. Patrick’s Day partiers rang out as we strolled toward Palm Canyon Drive. The heat coupled with images of mugs filled with green beer intensified our thirst.  

Along with us, a throng of other tourists gravitated to the corner lot where Marilyn Monroe, in that memorable dress-flying pose, loomed above us, nearly touching the sky.  She’s gorgeous. “Forever Marilyn” is part of Seward Johnson’s Icons series. 

 

The real reason for being in Palm Springs sobered me as we entered the Desert Comprehensive Breast Center the next morning. I had no disturbing symptoms; it was “just” the annual checkup. 

My mammogram technician Cheryl, a self-proclaimed perfectionist, re-took pictures that didn’t satisfy her and the radiologist. When she returned with a large red A+ written at the top of my report, I began to relax.

The exam by my surgeon, Dr. Laura Lee, was next on the schedule. Her first words, “Hello! Your images look great!” produced a run-away smile on my face.  Unrealized anxiety released on the spot.

Four years have passed since my surgery. Each year I’m grateful to hear good news that brings the knowledge that I’m taking care of myself and predicts a healthy future.

Springtime in Palm Springs couldn’t be more beautiful.

I encourage you to make your own mammogram appointment if it’s been awhile since your last one. And, I want you to urge your loved ones to make theirs.

~ xoA ~

The Awake Party

Trudy

Last weekend, we celebrated our dear friend Trudy, who is courageously dealing with end-stage cancer. She wanted to have her party while she was still here to enjoy it. She wanted to see the people who mean a lot to her and, as she said, “hear the nice things they say about me.” 

Trudy’s garden and yard had to be immaculate, after all, she’s the president of the Bakersfield Green Thumb Garden Club. She worked hard to make it happen, hung in there on days when she didn’t feel up to par.  With Trudy’s eye and guidance, and partner Sylvia and sister Rebecca doing the heavy lifting and physically intensive jobs, the setting shone picture-perfect.

Sylvia, Rebecca, and Trudy

Trudy sent out the word, and we all came -- family members, lifelong pals, new friends, motorcycle buddies, and garden club friends. Some traveled from as far away as Arizona and Los Angeles, Aguanga, Littlerock, Sacramento, and Redding, California.  Folks from all over town where Trudy has become dear also showed up. The gals from the Speedway convenience store down the street and Joe from the Bulk Yard were on hand. 

An informal open house-style party, characterized by laughter and stories of Trudy and her antics brought us all together. Ever gracious, though tiring as the day progressed, Trudy took time to visit with each person. And, yes, it was emotional, but that’s to be expected. We care deeply.

Sylvia had spent many hours lovingly creating a slide show that showcased the important areas of Trudy’s life. To everyone’s delight, it ran constantly throughout both afternoons.

Sunday morning, friend Chelli, who had driven in from Arizona the afternoon before, rose with a mission in mind. Her early morning shopping trip resulted in a bountiful array of scrapbooking materials and a small photo printer.  As people arrived at the house later that day, she took pictures of them with Trudy. The guests then created a scrapbook page that displayed the photo and their message for Trudy. Participating in this way initiated a wonderful memory for each one of us while creating the epitome of a memory book for Trudy and Sylvia.

An Awake Party. Not a wake. That’s what Trudy wanted. It gave us a chance to pay our respects to her and to let her know how important she is to us, how much we love her. It’s a priceless gift each of us can hold in our hearts, a gift for which I am beyond grateful.

~ xoA

Love Connection #2

There's been an overwhelming outpouring of love and hugs around the story about the meet-up between my sister Reenie and Jan Bills of Two Women and a Hoe. Jan is the woman behind the construction of a pallet garden for my friend Trudy.

The Love Connection story was initiated well before where my reporting took up. Have a look the pre-quel, which was filmed and produced by Urban Dirt.

You can see just how Trudy's  block wall pallet garden transformed a huge, bare expanse into something wonderful to behold and brought a immeasurable joy to Trudy and to all of us who love her.

~ xoA

Love Connection

This was no ordinary coffee date at a funky college neighborhood coffee shop in Detroit. It was the first-time meeting of two strangers, Jan and Reenié, who had been brought together by love and a mutual friendship that spanned nearly 3,000 miles.

Jan Coppola Bills

Jan had become Facebook friends with our buddy Trudy. Their interest in, and love of gardening and all things green and good for the earth, brought them together. Jan is the owner of Two Women and a Hoe™ in Royal Oak, Michigan. Trudy is a landscape manicurist and designer in Bakersfield who is courageously facing cancer. 

It was Jan who made Trudy’s wish for a pallet garden to be constructed in her yard on a brick wall come true. Though they had never met in person, Jan’s desire to make this happen for Trudy led her to contact her friends at Urban Dirt in southern California. Dave Walrod and his crew showed up the first Saturday in March, and the dreamed-of pallet garden became a beautiful reality.

Pallet garden with some of Trudy's plants on the ledge

Reenié is my sister. She and her husband Don live in a suburb of Detroit, close to Royal Oak. When I mentioned how near each other the two women were, Trudy asked, “Do you think Reenié would meet Jan and give her a hug for me?”

“Absolutely!” I said, knowing my sister’s compassionate heart and that she'd love to do something for Trudy. And that is how the coffee date came about. 

Reenié and Trudy have history through sharing the same August birthday and many laughs over the years when Reenié would visit Bakersfield. And, then there was that time when my sister met Trudy and me at the Women in Motorcycling banquet in Ohio back in 1997. 

So  speaking by phone, the two strangers who would soon be friends arranged that Jan would come to Reenié and Don’s home for coffee last week. Reenié said, “Jan showed up right on time. With some lovely Danishes in tow! I love her already.”

There were hugs and Trudy stories in addition to becoming acquainted with each other. Sipping black coffee and munching on pastries, the two women discovered that, among other things, they both enjoy playing golf -- as well as their love for Trudy.

Reenie and Jan

Reenié’s email that accompanied her photos read:  “What an awesome day we had. It was all thanks to Trudy! What a wonderful gift she gave to Jan, Don and me from so far away.” 

Trudy, March 3, 2012

And the feeling was mutual. Jan wrote, "Oh, I had such a great time with Reenié and Don! Glorious birds of a feather DO flock together! I am so grateful for the new wonderful friends I have made because of one special lady named Trudy!"

Love. It has the power to connect people who may never have met.  I can’t help but think about what it can do for all of us, whether near or far.

~ xoA

Trudy checks on her wall after a windstorm

Look for the Gift

 

Dawn, night, and taxes are three things that we can all count on as we go about our daily lives. And, we’ve heard of Murphy’s Law, where anything that can go wrong will go wrong. We need to roll with the punches – take it in and let it go. Make lemonade out of lemons. The clichés are never-ending.

It’s also said, “It’s not what happens to you, it’s how you react to what happens to you.” Remaining calm and keeping a clear head when things don’t work out exactly as we’ve planned is key. Something better is probably in store for us. What feels like a missed opportunity or a dreadful situation usually brings a gift to our lives.

When the unexpected happens, we also need to look for the gift. What good thing is going to come out of these unplanned or unforeseen circumstances?  Sometimes it’s hard to believe there could be a gift while in the throes of a tough situation. But proving that “hindsight is 20-20,” taking time to reflect often reveals the gift.

How many of us, after being delayed from leaving home and later coming upon a traffic jam or accident have said, “If I’d left on time, I’d have been right in the middle of that mess!” The gift: we’ve been spared aggravation and possible injury.

Sometimes the gift is a heart gift. I can remember our friend Ruth saying that having cancer had brought her many gifts. A major one was the realization of how much people cared for her. The disease had rallied long-time friends and family around her and had brought new friends into her life. Having cancer led to fresh attitudes and learnings and a sense of freedom. These were not only gifts for Ruth, but also for those of us who were so fortunate to become close to her.

Knowing that there is a gift in every situation helps us get through it. Looking for the gift brings us opportunities for growth and happiness.

What gifts have you found, thanks to a tough situation you’ve faced?

~ xoA ~