We’ve observed babies having fun when playing with their toes, when engaged with a face-making parent, and when involved in a play date with other children their age. Fun is a need each of us can satisfy by ourselves, with one person, or in groups.
Some find their fun in quiet ways, like reading, fishing, or quilting. Others’ fun comes from dancing, running, or playing sports. Judy once took a math class for fun. My friend Karen gets excited about calligraphy. I enjoy wandering in a museum, reading every word of every description of every exhibit. Whatever we do that we define as “fun” fulfills this basic need.
Most of us have a friend, family member, or co-worker with a great sense of humor. They are always joking or laughing. We may wonder if they ever take anything seriously. Sure they do, but they also experience a high need for fun.
In our classrooms, many teachers worked on the theory that when learning was enjoyable, students were more likely to engage and remember. Some of us invented games, made up songs, and designed activities that injected fun into the curriculum. Coming up with ideas and making them a reality gave us pleasure. Our joy and laughter kept us learning.
Though couples don’t have to share the same ideas of what constitutes fun, partners who both possess a high need have excellent prospects for a happy relationship. In keeping with their individual needs for freedom, they may choose some activities apart and some together. Fun takes off in new directions as the pair matures and their interests change. And, often the fun is in witnessing the other person’s excitement.
“Twenty Loves” is an exercise from Sid Simon I like to use in workshops. Participants jot down twenty things they love to do. Going down their lists, they record the last time they did each activity. Often people are surprised at how much time has passed since they last did some of those fun things like walking on the beach or seeing a movie or hiking in the woods. This small reminder is sometimes all it takes to re-ignite enthusiasm. How would your list look? What is your current fun thing to do?
“It is essential to our well-being, and to our lives, that we play and enjoy life. Every single day, do something that makes your heart sing.”
-Marcia Wieder, author, speaker, and founder of Dream University.
~ xoA ~