Try Intentions instead of Resolutions

“In the new year, I’m gonna…”   Millions of people make New Year’s resolutions, putting themselves on challenge to either stop or start doing something.  Maybe it’s to lose weight, quit smoking, eat healthier, spend less money or spend more time on something or with someone.  Maybe it's all of these.

Millions of others don’t bother to make resolutions.  Why?  Because they always break them.  They don’t want to feel the guilt that comes with breaking promises to themselves or to appear weak to friends and family when they don’t follow through.

But intentions are different.  I can still hear the calm voice of my yoga instructor, Margaret Blanc, at the conclusion of our relaxation phase. “Now it’s time to create an intention for yourself; for this evening, for tomorrow, or for the week.”  In the silence that followed, each of us could create her personal intention and repeat it in her mind. It was a time when we were most open, relaxed, and receptive. 

I’d walk away with that intention in my head.  In those days, it was always the same: “I am building my own happy life.”  Living alone for the first time, I was responsible only for me and to me; some days it was tough going.  And in those inevitable moments when I’d reach a low point, the intention I’d created would pop into my head, flashing like a huge neon sign.  Almost instantly, I’d notice that I was standing a little taller, throwing my shoulders back, and smiling, moving on to my next task or thought. 

After awhile, I realized that I was fulfilling that intention. Then, it was time to summon another. 

They say, “The road to Hell is paved with good intentions.”  But intentions coupled with mindfulness hold power.  Each of us can reach inside and come up with an intention for ourselves so that we can lead happier, healthier lives. An intention becomes reality when we concentrate on it for our own personal growth and well-being, when we listen to it and let it guide us.

Focusing on one clear intention, constructing it as a positive statement in the present tense, as if you are doing it now, makes all the difference.

Follow this formula for creating intentions:
* Close your eyes and take a few moments to become fully relaxed. 
* Let your mind wander until it settles upon something that you want or need to do for yourself.
* Create your intention:  “I am _______ing ____________________________.
* See yourself doing it.
* Let your body feel the way you’ll feel when you are doing it.

What intention will you create for yourself -- for today, tomorrow, this week, or this year -- so that you can take a positive step for a successful and happy 2012? Just start with one.

May you create a happy and fulfilling 2012 for yourselves.

~ xoA ~

Turning my Goals into Action

Working to achieve a goal can be frustrating and downright discouraging if we're not making headway. For a goal to become more than a wish or a hope or a dream, I had to figure out what would best help me reach it.

The goal writing lessons that I used with seventh and eighth graders in my classroom  became the technique that would work for me. It's good for any goal, whether I'm working on a daily or a mid- or long-term goal.

Here are the writing steps I take:

1. Visualize the change I need to make. That becomes my goal.

2. Write the goal. Write it in the present tense - as if I am doing it now. I am getting my health under control with diet and exercise. I am clearing the clutter from my desk. I am finishing project A. 

Not “I’m going to...” or “I want to...” or “I will try to...”  But, “I am...”

3. Place the goal where I can see it. For a long-term goal, I might write it on three or four cards or Post-its and put them in prominent places.

4. Each day, I write the goal on my organizational sheet along with my to-do list.

Two action steps were huge in helping me accomplish my health goal this past year:

1. I shared my goal with my best friend and partner, Judy. Then with a few others.

2. Several times a day, I asked myself the crucial question:  “Does my behavior match my goal?”

The impact of that question is remarkable. Judy would invite me to go for a morning walk, and I’d almost decline, but I’d think, Does this behavior match my goal? Then I’d get up from my computer and be ready to go. Shopping for groceries and trying to create new eating habits, the question would come to mind, Does buying this match my goal? Yes to spinach, whole grains, and broccoli; no to ice cream and white rice.

Posing the question gets me back if I get sidetracked or lose focus when working on a project.

So, when you have a goal in mind and want to get off to a powerful start with it, write it in the present tense, and be sure to question your behavior and whether it's contributing to your success in reaching that goal. Before too long, the goal becomes a part of you.

What success have you had with recent goals? How did you put them into action?

How would you write the goal that you are ready to work toward?

~xo A ~

Going for It

Port Orford, OR

Destination: San Jose. Goal: doing what we love. We three amigas, Laurie, Virginia and I, zipped down the coast highway on our motorcycles, filling our senses with the sights and smells -- the gorgeous ocean vistas and the aroma of the redwoods. Our second day out, we cut a swath through morning sun-lit vineyards, crossed the Golden Gate Bridge, maneuvered the streets of San Francisco, and made it safely to San Jose for the 25^thAnniversary Women on Wheels® International Ride-In.

Laurie & Virginia at Dolce Hayes Mansion

Once there, we met up with Bakersfield buddies, Sylvia and Trudy, and began the round of greetings and squeals as more and more motorcycling friends from all over the country rolled in. It was three days of riding, reminiscing, meeting new folks, and celebrating the joys and triumphs that we experience when motorcycling. It was a time to remember those who couldn’t make it this year and to look forward to seeing everyone at the 2012 Ride-In.

The woman who took the “Oldest Female Rider” plaque at the Awards Ceremony was born only a year ahead of me. I looked around at the banquet tables full of white, grey, and salt-and-pepper heads and noticed a few folks who might have given the winner a run for her money in the age department. But, they hadn’t submitted their names and birthdates.

One thing that keeps us silent about our age is that we want to continue as we always have, and we don’t want anyone telling us we’re too old. We want to try new things and not be discouraged because of someone else’s notion about age and what’s appropriate. In answer to the question of how old she is, my friend Donna always says, “I’m ageless.”

Age is just a number. On either end of the continuum, it doesn’t have to be limiting. At 76, Clara Barton rode in the mule wagons and worked as a battlefield nurse during the Spanish-American War. Ben Franklin was 79 when he invented bifocals. At 13, Bill Gates wrote his first computer program. When 18, Tommy Hilfiger opened his first clothing store. And, union organizer Mother Jones wrote her autobiography when she was 95.

Inside, I still feel like the 40-year-old Annis. With the help of a little glucosamine chondroitin, I’m ready for doing zumba and gym workouts, hiking trails, and riding my motorcycle. 

At a fuel stop on our way home from the Ride-In, Laurie and I walked into the building, and I held the door open for the young man who was coming out. I heard him say, “Thank you very much,” sort of like Elvis. “You’re welcome,” I answered. Both Laurie and the store clerk looked surprised; they thought he’d said “Thanks, Grandma.” Maybe he did, but so what.

Whatever your age, you still have time to do something extraordinary, or something that you’ve always dreamed of trying. Right now is that time. 

Zip-lining in Juneau, AK

What is it that you have on your to-do list?

~ xoA

Dig Deep and Keep Going

June 1^st, the beginning of summer and time for our annual trek to Oregon. I was riding my motorcycle, and Judy followed in our car, which was loaded with our summer-living necessities. We’d expected a bit of rain, and I was prepared. The entire day, I wore my rain pants, pulled down over my jeans and boot tops, and my fluorescent yellow rain jacket, velcroed tightly around my neck and sleeves. It did rain off and on, and occasionally, I’d stand on my pegs so the wind would clear the water off my face shield.

By early evening, traveling north through the mountains on I-5, around Mt. Shasta City, the skies darkened and the rains began again. It was noticeably colder, and I thought about changing my gloves. Rounding a curve, just south of Weed, we ran smack into wet, blanketing snow. It had already stuck on the ground and quickly covered my windshield.

Survival mode kicked in immediately. I lifted myself to a squat to see over the windshield. Adrenalin and thoughts exploded. Two motorcycling adages came to mind as I had to take my left hand off the handle grip and swipe snow off my visor: “Slow down and hold tight.” and “Chin up, stay up.” I did both and concentrated on keeping upright. Then, I tried to recall the three Weed exits -- Were the off-ramps curvy? How steep were they?  Where were the motels? 

 

Slowly and steadily, I steered the Goldwing to the North Weed off-ramp, a straight slab of snow-covered cement, where two easy right turns led us into the parking lot of the Motel 6. What a relief! But, I didn’t breathe easily until I was fully stopped, the side stand was down, and the bike was turned off. Then, I climbed off and began shaking. I had made it! I’d kept the “rubber side down” and was safe.

Soaked, but safe, in Weed, California

 When faced with any kind adversity, we all dig deep inside and come up with exactly what it takes to get ourselves through. Each of us has learned from experience and observation and can call on the skills, knowledge and reserves within us, whether the tough situation is dangerous or scary or emotionally risky. I’ve learned that slowing down, holding tight, and keeping my chin up works for almost any challenge. And, as Winston Churchill is supposed to have said, “When going through hell, [we] keep going.”

Have you had any recent storms to weather in your life? What inner resources did you draw upon?

                                                                                ~ xoA ~