Searching

I didn’t want my next post to be a rant. That is not the style or purpose of The DayMaker.

I’d been searching for what I could say that would be positive. Show compassion. Lead the way. Present a solution or an action. Express my sadness, incredulity, and concern without condemning or vilifying. I didn’t want to fly about helter-skelter then zero in like a missile seeking its target.

So I have been silent.

But too often now, I am swallowing the sickness I feel over the tragedies and losses through gun violence. Too often I am turning away from photos of terrorists, foreign or home-grown. Too often I am appalled by the attacks on people who dare to claim the right to practice their religion or the freedom to make choices that affect their lives. Too often, I am stunned by the words of full-of-themselves politicians and wannabes.

Too much I am wondering how I can NOT let THEM, those outside forces, change ME. So when a coach friend, Karen Tax, posted a quote that spoke to me on Facebook, I knew I had to share it. 

These words were what I’d been searching for.

Written by Iain S. Thomas, 2007, in his blog post, The Fur

For sure, Thomas’s words don’t solve the world problems we face. But they help reinforce to me that I don’t have to become someone I don’t want to be.

What words have inspired you lately? Maybe they will make a bit of brightness for the rest of us, too.

~ xoA ~

Stepping it up in 2014: No Name-Calling Week

This week, January 20-24, is No Name-Calling Week. Inspired by a popular young-adult novel by James Howe called The Misfits, this year marks the 10^th anniversary of one of the largest anti-bullying initiatives in the United States.  Howe’s book is a story of four junior high friends who encounter bullying head on. They prevail by gaining the principal’s support for instituting a “No Name-Calling Day” at their school.

GLSEN (Gay, Lesbian & Straight Education Network) first picked up on the idea and began providing publicity and even lessons for teacher use. Then Simon & Schuster Children’s Publishing joined in, and now we have the No Name-Calling Week Coalition. Like Bobby Goodspeed, the main character in The Misfits says, “One person can have an idea, but for the idea to translate into action, a whole community has to get behind it.”

This year, I’ve been using The DayMaker to share ideas about how we might communicate with each other, the importance of choosing our words carefully and using the language of validation. No Name-Calling Week meshes perfectly with this theme.  

I’m encouraging all of us, in the words of James Howe, to instead of calling names, “Think. And if you can, don’t speak. Don’t say the names.” Maybe we can turn No Name-Calling Week into a month and then a year, and then…  Just imagine.

~ xoA ~

Stepping it up in 2014: Choosing our Words

“Warmth and goodwill extended to one person not only make that person happy, but spread the joy to others around, and the chain goes on.”  ~Author Unknown

If we can stop and think about what we say, we hold the potential to change the world, or at least OUR own world.  Replacing negative words with positive, loving words can make a huge difference in our relationships.  It can change the course of our lives as well as those of anyone with whom we come in contact.

Our words are powerful. They create a reaction in the people who hear them, whether the words are directed to them or merely witnessed by them. Genuine encouragement, appreciation, love, acceptance, and affirmation can mend and strengthen. Their opposites debilitate and crush. We can see another person blossom -- or crumple -- depending on the words she or he routinely hears.

“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will make me go in a corner and cry by myself for hours,” said Eric Idle, English comedian, author, and actor. Words create emotional responses that intensify an individual’s reaction. What may seem like a harmless comment to one person may have such emotion attached for the listener that it chips away at her self-confidence and self-esteem.

Then there are folks like one of the women in my writing club who consistently notices others’ talents and admirable qualities. Liberal with her “thank you’s” and genuine with her praise, she chooses words that validate, and when she speaks them about us and to us, we glow. Her words serve to encourage everyone within listening range.

Let’s make 2014 a year of being conscious about our word choices. Let’s use the power of positive words to build others up and to enhance our relationships and our world. 

Sticks and stones may break some bones, but appreciative, affirming words uplift and heal.

~ xoA ~