Right from the beginning, I will disclose this truth: I have
a high need for freedom. And, routines are not my thing. I crave the freedom
and variety that come from randomness. My sister has commented that she
couldn’t learn how to get to places when I was driving since I never took the
same route twice.
When there’s a job to be done, and I am confident in my
ability to do it, I want to be left alone to figure out how to make it happen.
That’s what I loved about teaching in my day. The state and school district
spelled out the curriculum and objectives, and I was free to create my own
units, lessons, and materials to meet those objectives. I often used students’
questions, interests and suggestions when designing activities.
Glasser says, “The more we are free and able to satisfy our
needs in a way that does not stop another person from satisfying his or hers, the
more we are able to use our creativity not only for our own benefit but for the
benefit of everyone.” (p.40, Choice
Theory)
Those of us who have a high need for freedom do not want to
be micro-managed. We want to be creative and make decisions about how and when
a job is done.
When entering into a romantic relationship, there’s some
loss of personal freedom. This can be a big issue if the partners’ needs are
far apart. The one with a high need for freedom may desire more room, more
space. If he or she feels too restricted by a partner, the couple will have to
come to some agreement about the amount of freedom that’s acceptable.
Couples who both have a higher need for freedom cherish
being together but also spend time apart, pursuing individual interests and
interacting with friends who share them. They “feel secure enough in their love
and within themselves to not resent giving each other the space they need.” say
William and Carleen Glasser in Getting
Together and Staying Together. (p.35)
So what about you and freedom? Low, medium, or high? Are you
able to fulfill your need for it? Think about how you extend it to others --
your children, elderly parents, friends, and partner. How does your behavior
allow them to satisfy their need for freedom?
~ xo A ~
